


Nonetheless

by rinnenotsubasa



Series: Cheol, Cheollie [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (mostly) bottom!Seungcheol, 95line ftw, Anal Sex, First Time, M/M, More tags to be added, Public Blow Jobs, cheol has too much feelings, jihancheol bro squad, plus stress, this is what lack of juncheol does to me, top!Junhui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-08-07 04:59:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7701733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/pseuds/rinnenotsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s just that all Jun knew was how to love himself. Only himself, Seungcheol thought sadly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A blessing and a curse

Wen Junhui was a work of art. Seungcheol had no idea why The Almighty Creator let him appreciate this beauty, not only by looking but also by _touching him_. Oh, Seungcheol wanted to. He’d been wanting to since that summer festival at campus a couple weeks ago, his department’s booth right next to Jun’s, and Seungcheol got to look at him a bit more closer, lent a hand when the crowd got too much and had the chance to exchange a few words with him. 

No, he didn’t want to have sex with Jun since the first time he saw the light brunette passing the campus gate. Lusting over someone you only saw for the first time seemed wrong for Seungcheol. Although now he was almost convinced that his desire for Jun did started from the first time he laid eyes on him. If not, he couldn’t explain this lump of warmth threatening to burst out from his chest every time their bodies touched, which was, at the moment, all the time. This, whatever this was, shouldn’t feel so intense if it had only been for a few weeks. 

Seungcheol roamed his hands over Jun’s lanky but toned torso and also his back as Jun planted kisses (a little too weak to leave hickeys, to Seungcheol’s disappointment) on Seungcheol’s neck. He was so occupied with the feeling of Jun on his neck and his effort to explore all of Jun’s upper body that he didn’t realize it until Jun’s already lubricated finger came into contact with his rim. 

He gasped.

“Do you want me to do it? Or you’d rather do it by yourself?” Jun looked down at him and Seungcheol needed time to process his words. He couldn’t help but being mesmerized by those translucent brown orbs.

“Please...” Seungcheol said, his voice sounded too needy to his own ears, he had to stop himself from cringing, but thankfully Jun didn’t seem to mind. He looked at Seungcheol with his unfading composed look. 

Seungcheol didn’t mention that it was the first time something else than his own fingers entered him (he believed in not having underage sex and he met Jun just as he came of age, so...) and to be honest he’s not yet sure he could handle having Jun’s beautiful (God, why did everything of Jun had to be so beautiful) and quite thick member inside him.

Seungcheol had done enough fingering in the past so the first finger didn’t hurt much. But as it got to the third, he started to feel more pain he almost forgot to breathe. He should’ve tried those dildo. If he did, he wouldn’t need to worry about ripping himself in this very important moment of having sex with Wen Junhui. 

Jun planted small kisses on Seungcheol’s bottom lip, jaw, and neck. They were gentle and at times a bit ticklish. Before Seungcheol knew it Jun’s three fingers were deep down inside him. 

“I’m ready,” Seungcheol said between his deep breaths. 

With those words Jun pulled out his fingers and reached for the condom and lube on the side table. Seungcheol saw as Jun put them on. He just couldn’t seem to take his eyes from Jun’s every move. 

Jun entered slow, adjusting to Seungcheol’s breath. When he’s all the way in, their eyes met. Most of Seungcheol’s senses went numb, leaving the feeling of Jun inside him and the sight of those captivating brown orbs. At that moment the thing inside Seungcheol’s chest came gushing out and it hit Seungcheol with the urge to get closer to Jun. He lifted his head, only to stop midair, making him a bit frustrated. Luckily Jun put his hand on the back of Seungcheol’s head, gently getting it back on the bed and leaned in, giving what Seungcheol wanted, his lips on his.

During their earlier make out session Seungcheol was too shy so he let Jun took the lead. But now there were no room in his head for embarrassment or fear. All there was were _Jun, Jun, Jun_. He gave experimental pushes to the other’s lips, adding some bites here and there. When he pushed his tongue, Jun let him in easily. Jun even let him dominate.

After a while they broke apart. “I’m okay. I think you can move now.”

Jun did as Seungcheol said and Seungcheol slightly regretted it because this was not okay. Not at all. The pleasure of having Jun rubbing on his walls was just too much. He must’ve looked like a mess, panting and flailing like this. Meanwhile Jun looked stunning like he always did. The beads of sweat even looked beautiful on him, making the bridge of his perfect nose glisten. 

The pace gradually became faster and Seungcheol couldn’t stop the stream of loud moan. At some point Jun hit a spot that made Seungcheol moan even louder and clenched around Jun. That was when Jun showed some changes in his demeanor, his forehead now furrowed and his mouth slightly gaping. He still looked beautiful though. 

He heard himself calling out Jun’s name and trying to look into Jun’s eyes, but there was a blinding white light and he just drifted away. 

When he woke up, there’s a blanket over him. He felt that he was still naked underneath, but not sticky with cum like was supposed to be. His ass were sore though, and Seungcheol was glad. He didn’t want what happened to be just a dream. 

He turned his head to his left and was greeted with the sight of Jun laying on his back with his eyes closed. As Seungcheol gazed into the side of Jun’s face, he felt a new wave of warmth encasing him.

**

“Okay, what is wrong with you.” Jeonghan didn’t spend time asking subtle questions and leading queries. He just cut to the chase and it earned him a kick to the shin from Joshua. 

Ignoring the groan of protest, Joshua said to Seungcheol, “We thought you’d be more ecstatic after hooking up with your eternal crush. But now you look like you just did one of your embarrassing cutesy act in front of him, and you can’t stop fiddling with your phone.”

There were many things in Joshua’s words that Seungcheol wanted to complain at, but he settled with a weak, “It’s nothing.”

His eyes were on the table but he knew Jeonghan was rolling his eyes. “Come on. Spill it.”

“Maybe it was a bad idea after all to get them hook up at a party.”

“Nonsense.”

“Your party hook ups never went well.”

“Oh, you Mr. Know-it-all. They went _extremely well_. They just never developed into relationships because they’re never meant to be. They’re just some nice quickie.”

“Exactly. Seungcheol wasn’t looking for a quickie.”

“But they didn’t do it in the bathroom or some random room, right? We saw them getting out of the house. Jun was even nice enough to let us know that he’s taking Cheollie home. Wait.” Jeonghan turned to look at Seungcheol, squinting his eyes. “He didn’t take you to his place? Was it somewhere bad?”

Seungcheol gave him a look and it seemed that Jeonghan was able to get his answer from it. 

The two male didn’t stop babbling theories on Seungcheol and Jun, they didn’t even touch their lunch anymore. Sick of his best friends incessant jabbering, Seungcheol opened his mouth.

“He’s not texting. Or calling.”

Jeonghan gasped, a little too loud. “You mean he just left you after he’s done?”

“Let’s make him pay,” said Joshua with an extremely calm tone, which made it a thousand times scarier.

“You bet, Josh.”

“Guys, you got it wrong.” Seungcheol sighed. “He’s not like that. He stayed the next morning. He even made me breakfast! And we talked, stupid stuffs like the panda on TV and Mr. Kim’s new hairdo that looks too... unfitting for his age. It’s just...” 

A second sigh escaped his lips. “It’s been three days since then and nothing else.”

“Then why don’t you just text him first?” Seungcheol squirmed at Jeonghan’s words.

“....It’s only been three days.”

“You’re just scared.”

“What should I say?”

Joshua chimed in. “Stupid things like Mr. Kim’s hair. Anything.”

“Ask him out on a date!”

“No!”

“Oh, so you’re okay with just having one night stand with him?”

Seungcheol furrowed his forehead at the words. “No.”

“Then you know what to do.”

Jeonghan was right. He couldn’t just do nothing and expect things to happen.

Just as Seungcheol started to think about the words he’s going to text to Jun, Joshua let out a hushed voice.

“Three o’clock!” 

Seungcheol turned his head and saw Jun walking by. The brunette seemed to notice, tilting his head and throwing a small smile towards him. Seungcheol replied the smile.  
Jun continued to walk pass. Seungcheol was about to let it go and decided to just text him later, but Joshua pushed him out of his seat. Mumbling complaints under his breath, he straightened up and caught up to Jun.

“Jun!”

Jun turned and Seungcheol was forced to face the unworldly beauty while trying hard not to stutter or gape in awe. 

“Would you like to have dinner together?”

The simple “sure” from Jun was enough to make Seungcheol feel on top of the world.

**

“You really like my lips.”

They were in the middle of a conversation about their campus’ wild boar intrusion problem. The chat started with a discussion on the best noodle shop in the neighborhood, Seungcheol didn’t know how they got here. During the conversation Seungcheol tried to look at Jun’s eyes, but from time to time his gaze would wander to other parts of Jun. Seungcheol just loved to look at Jun. Of course his beautiful eyes were enough to captivate him for hours, but they were alone in Jun’s place (Jun’s cousin brought him a lot of food so Jun offered Seungcheol to eat at his place), with no alcohol in his system like the last time, and it was too much for Seungcheol. So he moved his gaze to the other parts of Jun, the defined line of his eyebrows, his prominent Adam’s apple, and his soft looking lips. 

It seemed that Seungcheol let himself stare too much. 

A surge of panic ran through Seungcheol. He was happy to go to Jun’s place again. Being in the place where Jun was comfortable with was important to get to know him better. But now he just had to ruin it. 

It was unclear whether Jun noticed Seungcheol’s inner turmoil when he said, “It’s okay.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened when Jun added nonchalantly, “I think they’re beautiful too.”

“Oh my God.”

“Why deny the truth.”

Seungcheol had to hold his stomach because he couldn’t stop laughing and it hurt so much. After he calmed down, he started to regret his reaction and carefully turned his gaze back at Jun, but Jun didn’t seem to be offended. He was wearing a grin, making him look silly and beautiful in a whole different way and Seungcheol liked it.

“Want to kiss?”

“Huh?”

“You seem too distracted to get back into the conversation.”

Seungcheol gave a nervous laugh. “Uh, yeah... Sorry about that.” Jun just smiled and leaned closer.

As the distance between them decreased, Seungcheol could scent something like a mixture of cinnamon and orange, he’s not sure, but it was Jun’s. It was alluring and before Seungcheol knew it he was pushing himself forward and meeting Jun halfway. 

Seungcheol thought that it would be less impressive. It’s not their first and all the magic should be gone. Yet Seungcheol found himself overflowing with that slightly suffocating but pleasant warmth in his chest. It was threatening to burst out from his chest, all the more when they became one. 

Grabbing the sheets under him, Seungcheol pushed his hips up, trying to meet Jun’s thrusts. They hit the spot and Seungcheol whined. He lifted his head, flailing between his pushes and heavy pants. Jun seemed to take the hint and captured Seungcheol’s lips in his. A few more times of harmonized pushes and thrusts before Seungcheol reached his climax untouched. Jun tried to pull out but Seungcheol pulled his arm, so Jun gave a few more thrusts until his whole body shook. 

At some point Seungcheol’s consciousness drifted away. When he opened his eyes again, he found Jun sleeping peacefully next to him for the second time in a week. Seungcheol thought that he wanted this again. And much, much more.

**

“Can I sleep with Jun?” 

Seungcheol thought he heard it wrong, but the woman continued.

“Jun won’t sleep with more than one people at the same period of time, unless all parties give their consent. He said he’s sleeping with you, which is why I’m asking, are you down with it?”

“What?”

“You’re Choi Seungcheol, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So I want to hook up with Jun, he said I should ask you, and here I’m asking you.”

“And you expect me to say yes?”

The woman raised her eyebrows.

“You’re not just in for the sex.” There were no surprise in her tone, but there’s a hint of amusement.

Seungcheol didn’t say anything in reply.

“Not telling you to stop sleeping with him, that would be a shame, all the wonders he can do. Just drop the feelings. If you’re not sure you can’t, well, better cut off things with him.”

Seungcheol must’ve looked like a confused kid since the woman took her time to explain.

“He’s an expert in bed but he’s just not build for relationships. He’s not a jerk who leaves immediately after the deed is done, but he never try to initiate cuddling and stuffs like that. Not remembering anniversaries or other important dates. Not giving presents, nor simply asking how you are doing at least once in a few days. He gets people confused, doubting are we dating or not? That’s why he’s always the one getting dumped. He never seemed bumped about it though. Just move on like nothing happened.”

Seungcheol stayed silent for a moment, letting the words sink in. 

“No.”

“Huh?”

“Your question. That’s your answer.”

The woman let out a chuckle before turning around. “I’ve warned you.”

**  
They bought some rice balls from the convenience store and went to the park for lunch today. Since they both had no afternoon classes, they took their time and chatted. After some time Jun said he wanted to go home. Seungcheol asked if he could tag along and Jun nodded right away.

Jun dropped himself on the bed and started rummaging his bag. He said something about a paper, but Seungcheol wasn’t paying attention. 

Seungcheol walked closer until he’s right in front of Jun. Jun looked up with those innocent eyes, which didn’t change when Seungcheol pushed Jun until his back hit the mattress.  
His legs on Jun’s sides, face hovering above his, Seungcheol said, “Is it urgent?”

“No.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Their lips connected in a heated bout, Seungcheol with the most eagerness. Soon, Jun showed an equal level of enthusiasm, returning Seungcheol’s nips with squeezes, nibbles with sips. 

They broke apart for air and that was when Seungcheol saw it. Jun’s brown eyes, beautiful indeed, but they bore no adoration, no want. Despite the gentle touches and eager thrusts that he gave, Jun’s eyes were empty.

The usual pleasant warmth in Seungcheol’s chest was replaced with gnawing ache. But Seungcheol thought it was better than nothing and dived in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow my second porn, two days in a row. Guess I’m pretty stressed or horny. I think it’s the latter ‘cause I LUST OVER JUNCHEOL LIKE??? YET THERE’S ZERO CONTENT ON THEM.
> 
> Idk why I always make Cheol somehow less confident in my stories.
> 
> Next chapter I’m thinking of less angst and more porn. *crossing my fingers* *probably won’t be done soon*


	2. Your taste in my mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to do research but clearly there’s a limit. At least I tried.  
> Criticism is greatly appreciated.

Seungcheol had a myriad of imaginations involving Jun. When he saw a couple on the street, shoulders glued, he would imagine him and Jun strolling around the city in the same intimate way. When his professor started a lengthy lecture and his attention got diverted in the middle, he would daydream about having his hands on a cafe table, enclosed in Jun’s bony ones. And when he looked into Jun’s eyes, he would saw those bronze orbs gazing at him with deep affection.

Today one of his numerous imaginations had come true. He got to spend this Saturday afternoon with Jun in their neighborhood’s department store, stopping by at an ice cream and popsicle parlor before heading to the movie theater at the uppermost floor. 

Seungcheol also had considerably less innocent thoughts about Jun. From Jun moving inside him, making his back graze the sheets, flailing and moaning (Seungcheol would never get enough of having Jun inside him, despite the fact that they had done it quite some times by now), until having Jun’s skinny yet firm hands wrapped over both of them, their throbbing length brushing and melting into each other (surprisingly, their intimate meetings had only involved kissing and simple penetration, which Seungcheol enjoyed thoroughly, though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have desire for... other variations). 

One of those salacious imaginations also came true today, though not exactly the same with the images in Seungcheol’s head. Even in his dirtiest fantasies, never did he visualize Jun swallowing him inside one of the department’s store restroom (It’s the “department’s store restroom” part. Of course Seungcheol had daydream about Jun giving him a job).

Jun started by jutting out a bit of his tongue to Seungcheol’s tip, giving small licks like how he licked his popsicle earlier today. Seungcheol whimpered. Pretty sure that from here onwards he wouldn’t be able to look at Jun eating popsicles without popping a boner.

Jun’s lips pursed into a small smile before—oh my God—taking Seungcheol until his head disappeared completely into Jun’s mouth. Seungcheol gasped at the sudden warmth, Jun’s breath and wet mouth cave stimulating his nerves. 

He couldn’t see it but he could feel Jun’s tongue flicking his tip slowly, making sure that every inch of Seungcheol’s head was explored. After a few licks, Jun pulled himself and Seungcheol couldn’t stop the disappointed sigh that escaped his lips. The loss of contact didn’t last long though, as Jun took Seungcheol in his mouth again, this time going past the head. Seungcheol put his right cheek on the bathroom door, letting out a mix of grunt and sigh. His hands roaming fruitlessly for something to hold on (it was like his knees just turned into jelly), could only find the lock slot and hold onto it even though he had to bend his right hand in a not so comfortable way. His left arm dangling aimlessly, but not for long as Seungcheol’s moan grew louder and he had to put his arm in his mouth to keep his voice down.

Jun took it slow, a good kind of slow, but also agonizingly slow. Seungcheol could feel that he was painfully hard and was attacked with that urge of wanting something _more_. He didn’t know what to do and in his uncertainty he looked down at Jun, searching for help. Wrong move. He was met with Jun’s eyes, those goddamn beautiful eyes, looking straight at him. Now he’s getting harder and also painfully hurt at his chest. 

Jun’s eyes were still fixed on Seungcheol’s as Jun bobbed his head forward and backward, and Seungcheol cursed himself for not being able to look away. At one point Jun added some pressure as he slid across Seungcheol until his lips arrived at Seungcheol’s tip, exactly like Jun did with that popsicle. Yep, Seungcheol was definitely not eating popsicles with Jun ever again.

The sensation that engulfed him and the sight that confined his gaze took all of Seungcheol’s focus. It took some time for him to realize that it was not only Jun that was moving. His own hips did too. The realization made him concentrating all his energy to stop his hips. It was then that Jun let go of Seungcheol (after adding an extra pressure along the shaft and a kiss at the top). 

Seungcheol’s brain was struggling. He didn’t want Jun to think that he didn’t enjoy it (who was he kidding), but he needed to stop. No, no, no, he needed more, but he also had to stop, but he might gave the wrong idea to Jun, but—

“It’s okay.” Jun said, interrupting Seungcheol’s train of thought. He looked at Seungcheol, gaze completely calm, and said simply, “I won’t get hurt.”

Seungcheol wondered, had he always been this easy to read? Or was he only an open book when in front of Jun? 

“But...”

“I don’t gag easily.” Jun said as he planted small kisses at Seungcheol’s thigh. “I’ve tested my gag reflex.”

Seungcheol almost choked, not only because of Jun’s breath and kisses on his skin, but also due to the meaning of Jun’s words dawning on him. Jun had done this before. Of course. Seungcheol knew there’s no point to it, but he couldn’t help but wonder. How many? Who?

Before Seungcheol could dwell further into hopeless moping, Jun took him in his mouth once again and Seungcheol’s hips bucked forward automatically. Then he started thrusting slowly into Jun’s mouth. Jun took Seungcheol’s hand to the back of his head and gave the hand a light squeeze before returning to Seungcheol’s thigh to rub circles on it. Seungcheol got the message, he thought so, but he didn’t have the heart to do it, so he only ran through Jun’s hair with his fingers. He could feel Jun chuckling with half of him still inside Jun’s mouth (how the hell he did that??) and felt somehow embarrassed. Embarrassment turned to worry. What if Jun really wanted it rough? Would he get tired of him because he didn’t have the balls to get a bit harsh? 

Speaking of balls.

Just as Seungcheol felt he was close, Jun moved one of his hands from Seungcheol’s thighs to tug on his testicles. 

“Ah!”

This finally got Seungcheol to buck his hips harshly once towards Jun, and when he jerked back, ass hitting the bathroom door with a loud thud, Jun pulled away. It was the perfect timing, because Seungcheol’s hips gave another jerk and he sprouted a string of white stripe. 

A sense of relief went through Seungcheol, both from having climaxed and avoiding clogging Jun’s throat with his cum. But it didn’t last long as he realized in horror where exactly his cum went. 

Jun’s beautiful face was covered in it. There were even some on his bangs. Seungcheol felt like he just threw eggs to a Picasso.

Before he could say anything, Jun licked the cum near his lips and hummed, “Yum.”

Seungcheol wanted to hate Wen Junhui. He failed, of course.

**

“I’m going to the department store.” Jun said when Seungcheol asked him what were his plans for tomorrow. 

“Alone?”

Jun nodded. “I need some pants and shirts.”

Seungcheol opened his mouth, about to ask whether he could tag along, but something made him closed his mouth again.

Jun seemed to notice and blinked rather cutely (Seungcheol had to hold the urge to take Jun’s cheeks in his hands and squeeze them). “Want to come along?”

Seungcheol hummed in which Jun replied by telling Seungcheol to meet him at the entrance at 10.

“But...” Seungcheol said sheepishly. “Promise me you won’t take me to the public bathroom for sex.” It wasn’t that Seungcheol didn’t enjoy the blowjob he had some time ago, but he really couldn’t control his voice. They were lucky nobody caught them in the act (or maybe someone did heard them and decided to feign ignorance, who knew) but Seungcheol wasn’t sure they would get lucky again.

“Don't worry, less people come to the toilet on that floor. They mostly go to the first floor, or the fourth where there are restaurants.”

The way Jun said the words was so relaxed, it almost surprised Seungcheol. If only he hadn’t witnessed Jun walking out of the bathroom stall with face covered in cum and calmly washed his face at the sink. 

“Even so. No.”

“You looked like you were pent-up. It’s better to relieve it when you do.”

Seungcheol wanted to protest. It was not his fault that the action movie had to stuff a quite explicit bed scene at the end, and the couple next to them decided that it was okay to suck each other’s faces (Seungcheol could ignore the sight but not the voices). And neither was how Jun looked amazingly attractive (he blamed God for this every day). 

Instead, Seungcheol sighed. He knew that he was actually the one to blame because he couldn’t stop getting horny over Jun and ruined the only thing he had with Jun that was close to a normal date.

“And I liked it. You tasted good.”

Seungcheol felt his face heat up. 

“Wha—You—“

Jun let out a small laugh. Seungcheol wondered how someone could be so annoyingly endearing. He took in how Jun’s eyes twinkled and Seungcheol felt a sense of happiness (and is that relief?) that he’s the one that made them look like that. He also relished how Jun threw his head back, almost hitting the bed, exposing his neck and his prominent Adam’s apple, and wondered how they would taste when Seungcheol run his tongue over them...

Not again.

_Damn it, Seungcheol! Get your mind out of the gutter!_

It was always like this. Adoration turning into lust. Seungcheol hated it because he it made him feel like he just wanted Jun’s body. He wanted more. And he wanted Jun to know that.

Though damn, Seungcheol thought as his gaze focused back on Jun, _he’s really really hot_. Seungcheol was lucky enough to experience the flavor that is Wen Junhui, and now he’s addicted. Besides, he had yet to know all of Jun. Jun said he was tasty. Seungcheol wondered how Jun would taste like. 

“You’ll know if you have a taste.” Seungcheol heard Jun’s voice said, but he couldn’t understand. His confusion must’ve shown on his face because Jun continued, “You want to know how I taste, right?”

_Shit. Did he say his thoughts out loud?_

He hoped that he only voiced the last few thoughts, only from the part where he thought Jun was hot, and not from where he wanted to have Jun’s heart because he couldn’t bear the rejection, not right now, though saying “Jun, you’re hot” out loud was equally unbearable, but at least— _Oh my God, is Jun stripping??_

Yes, Wen Junhui just got up from the floor and started to take off his pants. When his lower body was completely naked, he got on the bed and spread his legs. 

Seungcheol almost fell on the bed. 

He got on his knees, but still relatively far from Jun, he would have to stretch his arms to reach Jun. Jun just looked at him with the always composed gaze. Seungcheol took a big gulp and crawled towards Jun. 

He took Jun in his hand and gave him a few strokes before licking his head and sucking it, trying to mimic what Jun did to him a few days ago. It tasted... not bad. Honestly, Seungcheol couldn’t tell. His head was filled with “I HAVE JUN IN MY MOUTH” that he couldn’t comprehend anything else. He decided that he didn’t care for the taste. It was Jun and that’s all that matter.

Seungcheol tried to steal glances at Jun’s face. The sight made his heart sink. Jun looked composed as usual. He was hoping some kind of reaction, something to tell him whether he was doing good or not. Seungcheol then decided to focus on Jun’s length. But it was still rather limp and did worse to Seungcheol’s heart. He remembered himself getting hard quite quickly when Jun did him, so he concluded that it was either he’s too horny or not good enough to please Jun. 

Something similar to fear came rushing inside Seungcheol, prompting him to move his tongue more vigorously over Jun. Then he started to bob his head up and down, doing his best to hollow his cheeks and take in as much as Jun as he could. An uncomfortable sensation attacked him and he ignored it, tried to ignore it, but when the back of his throat hit Jun’s head, he lost it.

There were a choking and a gurgling sound. And then there was silence.

***

Seungcheol laid on his bed, head slightly twisted to face the window. It was bright outside. A perfect weather for a nice stroll, have a picnic outside, go on a date...

He rolled his body and buried his face on the pillow. There was no way he’s getting all that. Not after he vomited all over the person he wanted to do all those things with him. 

A ping made him pulled his head from the pillow. His left hand searched the bed surface for his phone and when he found it, he brought it in front of his face. A _“10.16 Jun: At the dept store yet?”_ flashed at the center of the screen.

Seungcheol couldn’t believe his eyes. Jun didn’t mind meeting with him after _that_.

He jumped out of his bed in a speed he didn’t know he could manage, get changed (almost stopping to change into another top but decided he couldn’t indulge himself while he’s making Jun waiting), and stormed out of his room. He arrived at the department store, and even though he was over 30 minutes late (and forgot to reply the text before heading out), Jun was there at the entrance. 

Jun didn’t show any signs of irritation whatsoever, but Seungcheol showered him with a stream of apology. 

“I thought you no longer wanted me to come...”

Jun tilted his head before letting out a small “oh”.

“You’re still bummed about yesterday?”

“It was... I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we can practice. I can show you the tricks.”

What Seungcheol thought was going to be a miserable day turned out to be one of the best in his life, starting at the department store where Seungcheol got to see Jun trying out all sorts of different sets of clothes (even recommended some of his choices to Jun and couldn’t help but giggling over how couple-like it was), ending at Jun’s place where he had orgasm twice (first when Jun gave him a blowjob as an example, second after Seungcheol practiced what he was taught, got hard again, and showed a face that was apparently begging for Jun to fuck him).


	3. Let me hear your voice

Seungcheol was loud. He would sometimes get too loud during his conversations with his friends and Joshua would shush him while Jeonghan gave him a glare. Seungcheol was aware, but had never done anything about it. It didn’t bother him much. 

Until one morning when he stepped out of Jun’s room at the same time as someone getting out from the next door.

“Oh, it’s you.” The wavy-haired blond with caramel eyes said in a sleepy voice, almost like muttering.

Seungcheol blinked. “I’m sorry, have we meet before?” He said gently, careful not to offend the unknown young man.

“No, no, we haven’t. I’m just... putting the face to the voice.”

Seungcheol didn’t know what to reply since he had no idea what the guy was talking about. It seemed that the young man noticed his confusion.

“I saw you entered last night and here you are, coming out at 6 AM in the morning. I don’t know if anyone else got in but I guess the chance of you being the owner of the voice is big.”

Only then the gears in Seungcheol’s brain started to turn.

“I’m... uh... I’m sorry!”

When Seungcheol pulled his head back up, he saw that there was a puzzled look on the blond’s face.

“Why do you... Oh, yeah I guess it’s the normal thing to do, but it’s fine. Really. I’ve heard the moans for so many years that it stopped bothering me anymore. Now my brain registered it as normal sound like water running or wind blowing my veranda. Human’s brain adapts very well, huh?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess...” The words left Seungcheol’s mouth weakly. His brain couldn’t think of anything else, not because of the embarrassment of being heard, but the reminder of how many other people had moaned in Jun’s room.

“You’re the loudest.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened. He saw that the young man looked back at him with the same relaxed look as before. Apparently the man had no awareness that he just said something that was extremely embarrassing. Seungcheol felt his cheeks burning.

“I never heard his voice though.” It was the last thing the guy said before he bid goodbye with a small bow of his head and head downstairs.

Seungcheol was left wondering how a few minutes with a total stranger could provide him with enlightenment on so many things. 

**

Seungcheol could feel it trying to escape his throat, but he held on. It was hard. He realized he was close to make his lips bleed so he put his right arm over his mouth instead. 

“Hey.” The usually unperturbed brown orbs were colored in curiosity. “Why are you covering your mouth?”

Seungcheol let his gaze fall and just shook his head. 

“Does it hurt?” Seungcheol replied with another shook of his head.

Although the brown orbs didn’t, the voice seemed to have some concern in it. Seungcheol didn’t know how he felt about this. There was something warm and there’s another thing akin to the sting of a cut, filling Seungcheol’s chest, and— _aah_ —now there’s also an intense jolt of pleasure because Jun had started to move again. 

“It’s a shame.” Jun said with even breathing despite his hips kept building up the pace. “I like hearing your voice.” Seungcheol thought it was sly of him because Jun didn’t look sorry at all (those goddamn composed look, the only thing Seungcheol hated about Jun) yet Seungcheol felt like an evil adult depriving a kid of a candy or toy.

When Jun had reached a steady pace, Seungcheol’s arm fell to his side and he let out a muffled whimper. Once again Jun’s questioning eyes found him and Seungcheol finally said, “I’m too loud.”

“I like you loud.”

“But it’s not fair.”

“How?”

“It’s only me. You never let out any sound.”

Jun looked like a light bulb just went on inside his head.

“I can moan.” Jun said before dragging himself out slowly and thrusting back with a moan. Seungcheol whined.

“I can purr too if you want,” he said and before Seungcheol could respond, he thrusted again. Seungcheol could see Jun’s throat vibrating as the purr came out.

The voices did made Seungcheol’s member twitched, but it failed to soothe his heart, all because of those brown orbs. His bottom lip pushed out, for no reason except to vent the troubling itch inside his chest. 

He felt Jun’s face leaning over his, lips closing to Seungcheol’s pouted ones, but Seungcheol looked away, leaving Jun’s lips with nothing. Jun didn’t chase it and Seungcheol let him be.

When Seungcheol finally looked back, he saw Jun with a perplexed look and it made Seungcheol somehow happy. He touched Jun on the arm and the latter stopped his thrusts. Seungcheol took the chance to push himself up towards Jun, making their bodies flip. Jun let himself getting pushed and his back hit the mattress. 

Seungcheol gazed at the sight below him and it made him sigh. _So, so beautiful_.

Hands on Jun’s hip, Seungcheol started to move. He pulled himself up a little before pushing down, making their skins meet again and again.

Those brown orbs were directed at him and Seungcheol wanted to say _look at me, Jun_ , yet only the name came out of his lips. The aftertaste was sweet in his mouth and a sting to his chest.

The burn in his chest, as well as the embarrassment of moving his hips up and down on Jun’s lap, were slowly taken over by sheer pleasure. It took Seungcheol some time to realize that he was moaning and he didn’t even have the will to stop the moan. 

“Jun... Ah! W-wen Junhui.”

He heard a gasp. It didn’t come from him.

Seungcheol turned his gaze below and saw something in Jun’s eyes. Finally. Seungcheol didn’t know what it was, but it brought back a pleasant warmth to his chest as well a surge of _excitement_.

“Wen.” He said between his bouncing. “Junhui. Wen Junhui.”

With hazy eyes, Jun shook his head. “Wen,” he said the name with an accent that he used when talking with other Chinese students. 

”Wen.”

“J-Junhui.” Jun stuttered a bit when Seungcheol changed the up and down movement into a circling motion.

“Junhui.”

Jun moaned. Seungcheol smiled. 

“Wen Junhui.” Seungcheol took his time on each syllables, trying to get the intonation correct as he rolled his hips slowly. He heard another moan coming out from Jun’s mouth and he couldn’t hold back his own.

A while passed with only Seungcheol’s slow hip rotation, loud whisper of Jun’s name, and Jun’s breathy moan.

“Seungcheol.” Jun finally said.

“Yes. Junhui.”

“Faster.”

“I—“ Seungcheol stopped to put a particularly long press towards Jun’s lap, earning moan from both man. “I won’t be able to say your name again.”

A small scrunch appeared on Jun’s forehead, it was as if he was pondering it. But it seemed he had made up his mind when he put one hand on Seungcheol’s length and the other on Seungcheol’s hips, securing the hips as he moved his own upward.

Seungcheol was still able to moan Jun’s name at the first thrust. The second one hit him right at the sweet spot and rendered him into a stuttering mess.

When Jun quickened his pace, Seungcheol somehow found his voice back. The pleasure was too much that he had to let it out in between his panting. 

“Aaaah! Jun! Junhui!”

At this point Seungcheol had become the only one moaning. Jun seemed to be focused on moving his hips and hands that he went silent again. Seungcheol was a bit sad because he wanted to hear Jun’s beautiful moans again (he could listen to them forever), but he couldn’t protest because Jun kept hitting him at the spot with every thrust and Jun’s hand moved wonderfully over his length; giving just the perfect pressure and friction, loosening and tightening in sync with the movement of Jun’s hip. 

Seungcheol was dangerously close. Then, as he always did when he felt the heat threatening to burst from inside him, he leaned closer to Jun. He was thankful that Jun never failed to give him what he wanted and met him halfway.

It was a series of sloppy kisses, ended with a breathy “Jun” from Seungcheol and a low but long moan from Jun. 

**

When Seungcheol stepped out of the door the next morning, he saw the blond guy again. The latter’s caramel eyes were twinkling and his thick eyebrows were raised. 

“Dude,” he called out. “I could hear him last night.” He put his two thumbs up as his lips parted into an amused grin.

Seungcheol replied with an awkward chuckle and an embarrassed smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahahahaha.


	4. Down, down, down

Seungcheol felt his stomach tightening as his thumb hover over the send button. His head wouldn’t stop thinking whether it would be weird to send a “ _Hey, how’s it going? Haven’t seen you in campus lately._ ”

“Come on, Cheol. It’s not like you never texted each other before.”

Joshua was right. Although not as many as the one with Jeonghan and Joshua’s name, his message thread with Jun contained a decent amount of messages. They would text each other when and where to meet when they were going out somewhere. At times Jun would also text him about the things he forgot at Jun’s place, telling him he’d bring it to campus the next day.

“Just send the text. I couldn’t stand watching you being mopey for the last 4 days. End my misery,” said Jeonghan as he pointed his French fries towards Seungcheol.

“Okay, okay.” After a heavy sigh, Seungcheol hit the send button and put his phone on the table. He tried not to glance at it every second as he (finally) ate his lunch.

When Jeonghan was long done with his fries and Seungcheol was halfway through his chicken rice, the screen lit up to show a pop up box. Seungcheol put his chopsticks down as he stared at it.

And his heart just stopped.  

“Guys, I need to go. Can you take care of my tray? Please? Thanks. See you.”

With that he grabbed his bag and dashed his way out of the cafeteria.

 

* * *

 

 

When the door opened, Seungcheol almost shrieked. Jun appeared behind the door with horridly flushed cheeks.

“Oh my God, Jun.”

Almost like an instinct, Seungcheol put his palm on Jun’s forehead. It was burning.

“You need to lie down,” he said as he pushed Jun towards the bedroom, Jun submitting wordlessly. When they arrived at the bed, Seungcheol saw a bucket next to it with a small wet towel inside. He told Jun to lie down before taking the bucket to the bathroom, wetting the towel more and went back to put it on Jun’s forehead.

“How high is it?”

“It was 38 this morning.”

“Has it been like this since 4 days ago?”

“It was just a sore throat and a bit of headache. Now my throat’s fine but the fever came...”

Jun looked terrible and Seungcheol hated himself for not texting him sooner. If he could just stop thinking that the world revolved around him and actually do something about Jun not showing up at campus for _four days_.

“When was the last time you had water? I’ll get you a drink.” Without waiting for an answer, Seungcheol scurried to Jun’s kitchen. Not exactly a long trip since it was just right across the bedroom, only separated by small space that functioned as TV-slash-dining room.

It was then when he heard Jun said, “Sorry.” His voice didn’t sound hoarse (it seemed it was true that his throat was fine) but his voice barely reached across the room. It sounded so weak and it’s breaking Seungcheol’s heart.

“Oh, no, it’s not a problem,” said Seungcheol as he picked up a large plastic bottle near the sink that looked like it’s never been washed recently. “I can hang out a bit, you know, in case you need things.” The bottle felt slippery in his hands and he thought he’d drop it. He sighed in relief as he managed to hold it in place. His heart beating erratically both because of the panic of almost dropping the bottle and the dread of waiting Jun’s answer.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll just sleep it off.”

Seungcheol couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest. While he washed the bottle, he used the time to adjust his facial expressions so he could show Jun a smile.

He filled the bottle with water before going back to Jun’s bedside, putting the bottle on the floor next to the bed since there was no table around.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah... You sure you don’t need anything?”

Jun looked like he was considering it for a moment before saying, “My Mom used to pat my head when I was sick.”

Seungcheol thought Jun somehow looked like a small child and he had to stop himself from squealing (or melting into a puddle, whichever) before putting his hand on Jun’s head, moving up and down and gently ruffling his hair.

“Like this?”

Jun hummed as he closed his eyes. He looked relaxed and his lips formed a small smile. Seungcheol couldn’t stop one forming on his own lips.

“What do you want for dinner?” said Seungcheol with his hand still patting Jun’s head. “You need to eat. I’ll take care of it.”

“Hmm...” Jun hummed and for a second Seungcheol thought Jun didn’t listen what he said and lost himself in the comfort of Seungcheol’s pat. He looked so relaxed.

“Anything,” he finally said.

“Okay. I’ll ask Joshua and Jeonghan for recipes. They know more than me.”

“Oh yeah, speaking of Joshua and Jeonghan.” Jun opened his eyes and glanced at Seungcheol. “Do you have sex with them?”

Seungcheol stopped his hand. “What? No! They’re my best friends! We don’t—No, just no.” Seungcheol felt shock at the sudden question and the thought of having sex with his best friends disturbed him.

“Why do you ask?”

“Since I’ll need some time to recover I thought you might need another partner.”

The idea of him having sex with someone other than Jun appalled him. And to hear it from Jun’s mouth. He felt nauseous.

“N-no. I’m... I’m good.”

“Okay.” Jun looked unsuspecting as he still had that composed look on his face. But then his eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?” he said.

“Hm?”

It took Seungcheol a while to understand what Jun was saying and feel the wetness on his cheeks. He swabbed his fingers on his right cheek and found out that he was crying.

“I—uhm... I’ll get some ingredients to cook, okay?” Seungcheol said as he hastily got up from the bed. “I’ll be right back.” With that he walked to the door, almost sprinting, and barely remembering to grab his bag before heading out.

He didn’t even remember which way he walked, but somehow he arrived in the supermarket. In his absentminded state he stood near the entrance for who knew how long, until he finally shook his head and took out his phone. He searched the web for “food for fever” and went inside to stroll the aisles in search for the ingredients listed.

“Why is there so many types of ginseng? What should I...” Seungcheol looked at his phone. “It doesn’t say anything about a particular type... Uh...”

Maybe it’s the frustration building up, he groaned and he could feel tears filling up his eyes once again. He probably already looked like a mess when he arrived and it was about to get worse. A grown up crying at a supermarket. He felt pathetic.

It was then when he heard a voice.

“Can I help you?”

He turned his head to see a very tall guy (Seungcheol thought he was pretty tall, but this guy could actually make him look short), nice caramel skin, and a toothpaste commercial kind of smile with a bonus of charming canines. He had a matching green shirt and pants with yellow lines on the hem; the supermarket staff’s uniform.

“Oh. I, uhm...”

“If you tell me what you’re cooking, I can help you pick one.” The guy smiled. “I’m a pretty good cook.”

It was probably rude but Seungcheol just stared for a while. He still felt like someone just put him inside a cocktail shaker and shook him all over; he couldn’t think straight, but he figured that the guys was nice enough to offer help without being intrusive about Seungcheol’s clearly wet and red eyes.

“It’s this,” Seungcheol showed him the recipe in his phone. “My... My friend is sick, high fever, just recovering from sore throat.”

They guy nodded and helped Seungcheol going through the various gingers. Then he took Seungcheol around and helped him pick the other ingredients. He even typed a note in Seungcheol’s phone about some tips on cooking. He must had seen through Seungcheol’s (in)ability in cooking when Seungcheol couldn’t differentiate ginkgo nut from jujube.

“Here, I’ve typed all the things you need to pay attention to. Also my number if you need anything else.” He ended in a dazzling smile and Seungcheol would’ve fallen for it if he hadn’t already head over heels for a Wen Junhui.

“Thanks. Uhm...” Seungcheol’s eyes searched around the guy’s shirt but couldn’t find any name tag.

“It’s Mingyu.”

“Oh, thanks Mingyu.” Thinking that he’d be rude not to, Seungcheol added, “I’m Seungcheol.”

“Seungcheol.” The edge of Mingyu’s lips tugged higher. “If you need more shopping or cooking tips, I’ll be at your service.” He twirled his right arm before putting in on his chest and gave a slight bow. Seungcheol laughed and Mingyu’s grin grew wider.

 

* * *

 

 

When Seungcheol was back, Jun had fallen asleep so he took his time to cook dinner. Fortunately, despite his worries, the cooking turned out better than he expected. After making a mental note to thank Mingyu later, he turned off the stove and went to Jun’s bed.

He took a small stool chair and put it near the head of Jun’s bed. He sat down with his back leaning to the wall, his right hand reaching to Jun. For a moment he hesitated and just stared at Jun’s sleeping face. Jun looked peaceful and it brought a nice warmth to Seungcheol’s chest. Yet there was also a hazy feeling of restlessness creeping up on him that wouldn’t disappear even as he ran his hand on Jun’s hair.

He felt Jun stirred and stopped his hand. He thought Jun was waking up so he retracted his hand and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He was so afraid that Jun would told him to go home that he continued to close his eyes even when the air went back to a still.


	5. When everything falls into place (or falls apart)

Seungcheol didn’t expect Jun to say yes. He was actually planning on not to ask Jun, but Jeonghan and Joshua did it faster than Seungcheol could tackle them to the ground. To be honest, now he’s kind of grateful to his friends because it felt great having Jun on his side in a party filled with students from every faculties.

Seungcheol had gained a new reputation as “Jun’s latest fuck buddy” (the people in his university were well-known for their candidness). From what Seungcheol heard, the reactions were mostly pity (they said Seungcheol was wasting his time with Jun) or envy (Jun’s sexual prowess impressed a lot of people). There were also some who made bets on when they would “break up” and Jun to get a new partner. Seungcheol was more than happy to show them that he was not going anywhere.

Jun, Jeonghan, and him were standing by the drink bar when Joshua came with someone on his side. Seungcheol recognized the guy and said, “Mingyu!”

Mingyu lit up when he recognized Seungcheol and replied with a jovial “Hi!”.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other...” Joshua glanced at both of them. He looked surprised but not unhappy. “By the way, Jeonghan, Jun, this is Mingyu.”

After their first meeting, Seungcheol texted Mingyu to thank him for the success of his cooking. Since then Mingyu would send him texts, sometimes pictures of silly things he found on the street, not too often to be annoying but it had become a routine and Seungcheol got to know more about Mingyu. He found out that not only they were in the same university, Mingyu was also in the same department as Joshua. But since Joshua’s department had more than 100 students in each year so he figured what were the odds.

“So how did you guys...?” said Joshua as he looked at Seungcheol and Mingyu.

“He is my disciple,” said Mingyu with a smug.

Seungcheol snorted and to that Mingyu pouted.

“Yes, yes, Oh, the great master Mingyu.” Seungcheol let out a hearty laugh.

Seungcheol saw Joshua gleaming, probably happy to see his friends getting along, but he couldn’t figure out why Jeonghan was giving him a look and a scheming smile. Then he saw Jeonghan glancing to Jun and thought that he finally got it. He continued to talk, deliberately mentioning inside jokes that only he and Mingyu knew about, while paying attention to Jun’s gestures and expression. He was left disappointed though. If Jun felt anything about seeing Seungcheol sharing an intimate conversation with another guy, he was certainly good at not letting it show.

“Hey,” said Mingyu suddenly.

“Hm?”

“Let’s go over there. They’re serving some delicious snacks.”

“Oh, okay.”

Mingyu told the others about his plan and promised to bring Joshua something back. For a moment Seungcheol had a sliver of hope that Jun would tell him no to go, but seeing Jun’s permanent composed look made him regret hoping.

“Seungcheol,” said Mingyu when they arrived at the snack corner.

Seungcheol, who was taking the snacks to a plate, turned at Mingyu’s voice. He saw Mingyu bringing his hand close to his face.

“Here,” said Mingyu as he slipped something between Seungcheol’s teeth. “Now you got fangs.”

Seungcheol mumbled his confusion and the things between his teeth fell to his hand. They were two pieces of cream-colored salty snack that were indeed shaped like fangs. Seungcheol burst into laughter.

“Why?”

“I thought you’d make a great vampire.”

“You’re the one with the canines.”

“Yes. So I’ll be the sexy werewolf.”

Seungcheol laughed again. Mingyu laughed along with him, but soon his laugh died down. For some reason he glanced hesitantly at Seungcheol.

“So, uhm... Are you okay?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

“Uhm, you looked a bit down earlier, so I thought... Sorry, you probably don’t like me poking my nose into your business.”

Seungcheol was taken aback. He didn’t think his disappointment was showing. It took him a while before giving a reply.

“No... actually, I appreciate it.” He saw Mingyu’s eyes lit up and added, “Thanks.”

With that, Mingyu gave his best smile and it brought one to Seungcheol’s face too.

Unfortunately, Seungcheol’s smile didn’t last long. When they were back to the others, there was a new guy with them. Seungcheol didn’t knew him personally but had heard about him. To most of the students in this university, the guy was a rowdier and gaudier version of Jun.

“Hey guys, you’re back,” said Joshua who looked slightly uncomfortable. “This is Soonyoung. Soonyoung, this is Seungcheol and Mingyu.”

Soonyoung, who was leaning on Jun’s right side, gave Seungcheol and Mingyu a nod before going back to give Jun a lustful look (it might just be Seungcheol’s paranoia) with his inebriated eyes (now this, Seungcheol was certain).

“Say Jun...” said Soonyoung as he wrapped his arm around Jun’s waist. “How about we get out of here?”

Jeonghan made a sound that was like a mix of a choke and a clogged sink pipe. It was loud but Soonyoung didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he did but didn’t bother to care; he didn’t seem like the type who would care. Seungcheol blamed himself for judging they guy but he couldn’t help it. Not when Soonyoung had Jun wrapped in his arm, squishing their bodies way closer than Seungcheol was comfortable to see.

“Didn’t you say I’m the best?” Soonyoung tapped the fingers in Jun’s waist. “That I know how to pleasure you the most?”

Jun didn’t confirm nor deny it. He only looked at Soonyoung with his straight face and it made Seungcheol feel worse.

“Oh right.” Soonyoung turned away from Jun to glance at Seungcheol. “I forgot the rule. I need to ask you first, right? So, can I take him home?”

Seungcheol heard himself saying, “If you want to, then...”

His voice sounded like slightly muffled, like he was speaking from the other side of a thick wall.

“I mean, why not?”

He saw Joshua, Jeonghan, and Mingyu’s shocked faces from the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t see Jun’s face clearly and he refused to try and see it better. He thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore if he’d seen that ever-changing impassive look again.

“I’ll have fun here too. Come on, Mingyu. Let’s dance.” With that he pulled Mingyu by the arm and went to the dance floor. They arrived in the middle of the crowd and Seungcheol took Mingyu’s hands to his own waist. They just moved their bodies following the slow music and nobody spoke until he heard Mingyu said gently,” You could’ve said no.”

Seungcheol had his eyes on their feet so he couldn’t see how Mingyu looked like when he said that.

“It’s just... It didn’t feel right...”

“Seungcheol...”

Seungcheol struggled to lift his head and meet Mingyu’s eyes with his own teary ones.

“It didn’t feel right for me to say that when I didn’t even know if Jun’s heart was mine.”

He felt Mingyu’s hand tenderly pushing his head towards Mingyu’s chest. Soon the front of Mingyu’s button up shirt was soaked.

The music changed to an upbeat club music. Mingyu and Seungcheol kept on dancing the slow dance.

 

 **

 

Seeing Jun on his doorstep was a surprise to Seungcheol. It wasn’t the first time Jun visited his place, but Jun usually did that after they went out somewhere together and his visits were less frequent than Seungcheol’s visits to Jun’s. Jun had never showed up unannounced like this.

Seungcheol tried to hide his surprise with a smile.

“Hey, Jun. Come in.”

Once they were inside, Seungcheol headed to the kitchen to make some tea, but he felt Jun’s hand on his arm. He turned his body to have Jun looking straight at him. Jun had his usual inscrutable look, but his eyes. They bore something familiar to Seungcheol. Something Seungcheol always saw recently when he was thinking about Jun and caught his own reflection. It was fear.

“Can I kiss you?” he said.

Jun’s request confused him, but he found himself nodding anyway, and with that Jun’s face quickly came closing in. When their lips touched, Seungcheol was taken by surprise. They had exchanged heated kisses many times, but never had Seungcheol felt such fervor from Jun. Jun’s lips devoured his with no mercy, not taking a break even for a split second as if separating their lips would be a waste of time. Soon Seungcheol was panting and his knees almost gave up on him.

When Jun pulled away, he looked at Seungcheol’s eyes again.

“Can I touch you?”

Still in a daze, Seungcheol nodded. Then he felt himself being swept off the ground, and before he knew it Jun was carrying him in his arms. When they reached his bed, Jun put him down slowly and intertwined their lips again. Jun’s lips eventually left Seungcheol’s and moved to his jaw and neck. Seungcheol heard himself moaning so embarrassingly loud, but how could he not?

Jun was tugging at Seungcheol’s shirt and Seungcheol lifted his arms to let Jun take it off. Without a moment to lose Jun had his lips on Seungcheol’s collarbone before going lower to Seungcheol’s nipples. Jun’s lips, tongue, and teeth worked mercilessly on Seungcheol’s nipples, making Seungcheol arching his back and bucking his hips shamelessly.

The way Jun was touching him felt different than usual. There had always been lust in his movements, but this was the first time it gave a sense of desperation. Seungcheol couldn’t understand and he couldn’t stop wondering about it even as Jun entered him.

In contrary to his hasty ministrations, Jun took it slow as he pushed himself inside. He gave a precise thrust to his sweet spot and a moan escaped Seungcheol’s lips.

“It didn’t... feel right.”

“J-Jun? Ngh!” Another slow and exact thrust.

“Yesterday with Soonyoung...”

Another thrust.

“I didn’t feel pleasure, or anything like usual. It was nothing. Nothing at all...”

With Jun repeatedly hitting his spot, it took a while for Seungcheol to let Jun’s words sink in. When they did, he became even more confused. He didn’t know how he felt. Upset because Jun really did slept with Soonyoung? Happy because Jun was basically telling him that he was the best for Jun? Disappointed that he was only “a highly compatible sex partner”?

The confusion muddled his senses. First he saw Jun’s eyes widened, then he felt how his own cheeks were wet and warm.

Jun stopped moving. It was always like this. No matter what Jun would always took Seungcheol’s need in consideration and Seungcheol kind of hated Jun for that.

Jun started to pull out but Seungcheol stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“Please,” he said, tears still rolling down his cheeks. “Don’t stop.”

Seungcheol couldn’t see Jun’s face because of his field of vision was getting blurry, but thankfully Jun started to move inside him again. Tears kept on falling down as their hips met again and again, even when Seungcheol’s body shook hard, followed by Jun’s seconds later. By the time Jun had pulled out of him, Seungcheol was a sobbing mess. He didn’t have any energy left so he let Jun brought him closer to Jun’s chest.

At some point Seungcheol’s consciousness started to drift away he thought absentmindedly that this would be the first time he fell asleep inside Jun’s hold.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, Jun was gone.


	6. Nonetheless

Once again Seungcehol caught a glimpse of Jun among the crowds. The thought of walking to him occurred to Seungcheol just like it did several times during the past few months.

Once in a while they would bump into each other. Despite not being in the same faculty, they still studied in the same campus area so the odds weren’t that low. When they did, they never avoided each other or pretended like they didn’t see each other; they just did nothing.

Seungcheol never knew Jun’s reason, but his was the gnawing ache that he felt whenever he’s with Jun. He thought he couldn’t handle it anymore so he left. Yet now he wondered it might be worth the pain, because not being able to be by Jun’s side turned to be much, much worse.

This time maybe Seungcheol could lift his leg. He must. Soonyoung’s words stuck at the corner of his mind since they met at a bar the other day and he felt that he had to do something. The notorious playboy had an arm supporting his head and a pair red eyes looking at Seungcheol when he said that Jun had been refusing to hook up with him. Jun was not even seen or heard hooking up with anyone, for that matter. (“I dunno, but I have a feeling it’s your fault,” Soonyoung said with a vindictive look)

That left Seungcheol worried. Obviously there was something wrong with Jun, although Seungcheol refused to believe that Jun’s sudden commitment to celibacy had anything to do with him (he’s not giving in to false hope again, it’s too scary). He thought he needed to at least check how Jun was doing, make sure Jun was okay. He didn’t want a repeat of that time when Jun got sick and it took 4 days for Seungcheol to go to his place.

So this time Seungcheol tried. He lifted his right leg to chase Jun’s figure. But suddenly his sight went dark, his eyelids shut close by slightly calloused fingers.

“Mingyu.”

With that the fingers pulled away and his sight was back. Seungcheol turned his body and found, as expected, Mingyu grinning like a dog who just brought a prey for his master.

“How did you know it was me?”

Seungcheol shrugged. He really didn’t know. Maybe it’s intuition or lucky guess. Despite Seungcheol’s lack of explanation, Mingyu maintained his excited-puppy look.

They were at an open space in the west side of their campus. It was a favorite place for students from every faculties to do group studies or just chat. Seungcheol almost forgot that he had promised to hang out with Mingyu here while Mingyu wait for his late afternoon class.

Seungcheol gestured Mingyu to sit on a bench behind them. Before he walked to the said bench, Seungcheol glanced to the spot where Jun’s figure was seen and found out that Jun had already gone into the crowd. He had to force this weird cocktail of disappointment and relief down his throat before facing Mingyu again. They chatted for a while until a guy’s voice was heard blaring from speakers throughout the open area.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of Pledis University!”

Seungcheol turned his head to find the source of the voice, the familiar voice he was used to listen once in a while at campus. On one side of the open area was a young-looking guy, possibly a freshman. Well, definitely a freshman, Seungcheol recognized him; it was Lee Chan from the broadcasting club. He had a mic in his hand and was talking to a camera, held by an equally young-looking guy who had the facial features of a half-foreigner. Next to Chan, just out of the camera’s field of view, was a tall scrawny guy with round glasses, shoulder bag, and a long stick with some kind of fur at the end that looked a bit like a bulky mop.

“I’m Lee Chan and I’m here for another episode of _Get Your Love on the Air_!”

“Oh, they’re doing that today,” Seungcheol commented casually. He’s familiar with this segment of Chan’s show where Chan airs love confessions from the campus’ members. Usually Chan took the confession messages via email and social media and read them, but at times he did live broadcasts like this.

“Uhm, yeah...”

Mingyu sounded off, but before Seungcheol could turn his head to check on him, Mingyu had already stood up from the bench and took off towards Chan.

“We have a participant!” Chan’s cheery voice boomed in the open area. He greeted Mingyu enthusiastically and Mingyu replied with the same zeal, despite the slight strain on the edge of his lips; it seemed like he was nervous.

“So, who is the lucky person?”

“His name is Choi Seungcheol.”

Mingyu turned shyly to face Seungcheol and with that every students who had their eyes on Chan and Mingyu was now looking at Seungcheol. The sudden attention made Seungcheol nervous, but he saw how Mingyu was biting his lips and Seungcheol thought that Mingyu had it worse than him. He stood up from his seat, walked past the cheering crowd to stand in front of Mingyu.

“Choi Seungcheol, I...” Mingyu stopped after that. His mouth opening and closing like a koi fish but no words came out.

After a moment of struggling, Mingyu finally managed to say, “I had it prepared but the words kinda flew out of my head, ha ha. So uhm, I like you. Yeah, I like you, and would you be my boyfriend?” Mingyu ended with a bashful smile.

To be honest, Seungcheol was not sure how he felt about Mingyu’s confession. He just thought it’d be best to ask Mingyu to be patient with him (more than Mingyu had been) and give him more time until he could forget Jun. But then he caught Jun’s figure in the crowd, facing him like everyone else. It was too far for Seungcheol to make out Jun’s expression, probably the usual inscrutable look, not that it mattered, it shouldn’t matter anymore.

“Seungcheol...”

Seungcheol was taken away from his thoughts by Mingyu’s concerned voice. His attention went back to Mingyu and he was greeted with the sight of Mingyu’s worried face. It was then when Seungcheol realized he was crying.

“I’m sorry, I... uh... I need time to calm myself down.” Seungcheol could only gave an apologetic smile to Mingyu and Chan before turning on his heel and walked away from the open space.

He didn’t know how long he’d been walking. For all he knew he felt drained, so decided he didn’t care enough and just plopped down on a concrete next to a random building. He leaned his back on the wall and let more tears fall down.

After a while he heard steps coming from his right. He thought it must be Mingyu and he was preparing words of apology when he turned his head. He didn’t expect to see Jun there.

Jun bent his knees so that their face were on the same level. Not too close but way closer than they had been in the past few months. Seungcheol could see the beautiful lashes, the bags under his eyes, the line from his cheekbones to his jaw. He thought of how much he had been missing Jun and it was like someone was squeezing his heart ever so slowly.

“Are you okay?”

Seungcheol could only shake his head in response.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jun asked him again.

Seungcheol didn’t mean to say them, but the words came out of his mouth before he even realized.

“Kiss me.”

Jun only widened his eyes and didn’t move a limb. Seungcheol grabbed his collar and clashed their lips.

 

**

 

“J-Junhui...”

He moaned Jun’s name and felt Jun trembling above him; the quiver passed to Seungcheol’s body through the waist that he wrapped his legs over, the back where his hands were clutching on, and the throbbing length inside him.

Jun had been giving him hesitant thrusts, but Seungcheol didn’t want them. So he continuously moaned Jun’s name, with Chinese pronunciation just like the latter preferred, moved his own hips to meet Jun’s, and finally Jun gave in. Now he was pounding into Seungcheol with less hesitation and more vigor. Seungcheol felt a nostalgic feeling of warmth bursting from his chest, he craned his neck to lift his head up. Jun met him halfway and Seungcheol couldn’t be happier.

When their lips separated after a heated kiss, Seungcheol gazed at Jun’s eyes and thought about how much he loved him. It was when he saw Jun’s enlarged eyes that he realized he had spoken his thoughts out loud and confessed to Jun for the very first time.

Before Seungcheol could say anything to redeem the situation, something happened to Jun. It was like the last string of restrain inside of him had snapped off. The already vigorous thrusting turned into fervent ones, hitting Seungcheol with the kind of pleasure he didn’t know was possible. He came first and Jun continued for several thrusts before shaking on top of him.

Seungcheol closed his eyes as soon as Jun pulled out. He wasn’t that tired, but he was scared to face whatever would come after this, so he pretended to fall asleep. He felt Jun wiping the cum off his stomach, the gentleness brought back that suffocating warmth to his chest. Then he felt the real drowsiness took over him.

 

**

 

Seungcheol’s blurry vision became clear, making him hold his breath. The sight in front of him was pure beauty; half-lidded eyes with prominent bags under them, puffed cheeks characteristic of waking up in the morning, strands of hair sticking out to the wrong places. The eyes of that beautiful face, albeit looking sleepy, were gazing straight at Seungcheol.

“Why are you looking at me.” Seungcheol asked with a hoarse voice.

Jun blinked once. “I was thinking.” He paused a moment before continuing, “You said you love me.”

Seungcheol gulped.

“But you cried a few times when you were with me. Isn’t love supposed to make you happy?”

Seungcheol stirred in his position without breaking eye contact. Oh, he wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He was trapped in that gaze.

“Not always...” he finally said.

“Then don’t. Don’t love me.”

“I can’t.” He sighed. “It’s okay. I can live like this. You don’t have to reciprocate. Just... let me be like this...”

“No.” Jun said and Seungcheol felt his heart lurching.

But then Jun continued.

“When I made you cry, I was sad. When Mingyu made you smile, I was happy. But then you cried again...”

Seungcheol thought that he finally saw it on Jun’s eyes. He realized that he had been too coward to look for it all this time. To bring it to light for Jun who didn’t know how to.

“I just don’t want you to cry.”

Seungcheol felt tears filling his eyes. They were happy tears, but he hold them in.

“Then I will smile. I’ll be by your side and smile always. Okay?”

The smile that Jun gave him after that was brighter than anything in his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for reading this. That's definitely what made writing this fic even more enjoyable.
> 
> This is the second multichapter fic I've finished. I can't believe that soon it'll be a year since I became a fan of SVT and fanfic writer. Wow! I hope I can write more SVT fics and see you guys again!
> 
> Random stuff: I'm taking the IELTS test tomorrow and, just like it's usually for me before a big day, I'm feeling like a certain Bruno Mars song.
> 
> More random stuff: I hope there will be more Juncheol shippers/fics/fanarts/edits. PLEASE JOIN OUR TINY TINY SHIP.


End file.
